Many people want to cooperate during divorce, but their emotions get the better of them. It can be hard to remain calm at the end of a marriage, especially as people start considering the practical implications of this major change.
Some people battle their way through divorce, causing significant damage to their relationship and resulting in a very unpredictable process. Others try to cooperate to the best of their abilities. Collaborative Divorce has become much more common in recent years as people recognize the value of avoiding a contentious divorce.
There are several key factors that distinguish Collaborative Divorce proceedings from traditional contested divorces. People who understand these differences may make more informed decisions about how they approach divorce.
Spouses commit to cooperating
While spouses do often agree to work cooperatively with one another during divorce, either spouse could potentially change their mind at any point. The uncertainty of an informal agreement can leave people feeling quite anxious.
Collaborative divorce requires a signed contract between the spouses, and their professional team, which provides a degree of protection. The spouses must formally commit to working respectfully and transparently with one another. If they cannot resolve their disagreements with the assistance of their Collaborative team, then they may have to begin the process over from the beginning.
Spouses can resolve disputes privately
During divorce litigation, very personal matters may require discussion during court. In some cases, discussing substance abuse, infidelity and other forms of misconduct is relevant to achieve an equitable outcome during divorce.
The need to explore marital issues to achieve reasonable property division or custody arrangements can cause shame or damage people’s reputations. In the Collaborative Divorce process, spouses can discuss deeply personal matters in a confidential setting.
Spouses can maintain control
Litigated divorces often become acrimonious in part because spouses must convince judges of their perspective. In a Collaborative Divorce, the spouses don’t have to make dramatic claims about one another or try to convince a third party to take their side in a disagreement.
Instead, the focus is on cooperation and mutual compromise. The Collaborative process utilizes attorneys, parenting specialists, financial specialists and communication specialists to help the spouses achieve appropriate and amicable resolutions to their disagreements. The professional team helps to navigate the challenges inherent in the divorce process. Their suggestions can guide the spouses, but the spouses ultimately have the final say regarding the terms set for the divorce.
Looking into ways to cooperate instead of taking an adversarial approach to divorce may be beneficial for a number of different reasons. Spouses considering collaborative divorce may find that working together allows them to end their marriage in a private and more amicable manner.