There are several ways for divorcing couples to approach the end of their marriage. In some cases, they might already have a written agreement clearly establishing how they intend to share property and parental rights with each other. Other times, they have to make decisions about the details of a divorce after one spouse decides to file.
Many couples believe that divorce litigation may be the only option available to them. In reality, most couples are able to settle disagreements about financial support, property division and parental responsibilities without a court’s intervention. Mediation is one of the strategies couples use to settle disagreements about the outcome of a divorce. Couples with young children are among those who may find mediation to be particularly useful.
What makes mediation beneficial for adults who likely have years of co-parenting ahead?
Control over custody terms
One of the most important benefits of divorce mediation is that the spouses can determine all of the details cooperatively instead of waiting for a judge to decide what is best for their families. Judges do their best to make custody determinations that are in the best interests of the children, but their outside perspective provides them with limited insight. In most cases, the parents are in the best position to know what is best for their family, and are therefore in the best position to create truly customized parenting arrangements that work well for them and their children.
Privacy to discuss difficult matters
It is common for parents to initially disagree about the details of custody arrangements. They may need to have some very uncomfortable discussions about the behavior of each spouse and what their conduct might mean for their children. In a confidential mediation session, parents can openly discuss issues such as substance abuse issues or a negative dynamic that may have developed between a teenager and one parent. Having a private space in which to discuss family issues might help parents reach a viable plan for sharing custody.
An opportunity to learn and practice new skills
Mediation as a process is all about compromise and communication. Both of those skill sets are crucial for successful co-parenting in the future. Spouses feeling frustrated about the failure of a marriage often have difficulty working together and communicating calmly with one another. Divorce mediation is an opportunity to practice better communication skills and rework the existing dynamic between the parents to focus on cooperation and collaborative co-parenting.
By employing a cooperative approach to divorce negotiations, spouses can limit how much damage the actual divorce proceedings cause to their co-parenting dynamic. Successful mediation can make it much easier to co-parent peacefully after the divorce.
Discussing divorce mediation as a solution for custody disagreements could help parents choose the right option for their current family circumstances. Mediation can be a way to turn a difficult and negative situation into the beginning of something positive.