You’ve come to the conclusion that your marriage is more than just “shaky” and you’ve accepted that divorce may inevitable. You’re ready to move forward with filing for divorce… almost. You don’t want to make a rash decision, especially since you invested so much time, energy and love into your now-floundering marriage. It hurts, and it is difficult. You wonder whether this is the right direction to take. You have so many doubts, so many concerns and so many questions.
It is natural to have doubts and hesitations; ending a marriage is not a decision to take lightly. Before you pursue a divorce, you must be prepared to address these uncertainties and honestly answer certain questions.
Happiness and responsibilities
When pondering divorce, you’ll have to ask yourself some tough questions that may include:
- How will the divorce affect my children? Confusion, anger and emotional distress all are possible. Some children will have more difficulty adjusting and understanding the situation. Continue to show them that you love them even if your family situation is changing. You are all in this together.
- Will I be able to achieve happiness as a single person/parent? For those in an abusive or loveless marriage, ending the relationship may be the only way to achieve peace and happiness. Breaking away from a stifling spouse can lead to the pursuit of endeavors you always wanted to do but were prevented from doing while married. Finding happiness on your own may take some work, especially if you were not the spouse who initiated the divorce, but you can do it.
- How will I manage financially? Your financial situation may drastically change with a divorce. Maybe you frequently dined in fancy restaurants or took extravagant vacations. Maybe you were living paycheck to paycheck. Regardless of your family’s lifestyle, your new budget will have to consider that the income(s) that supported one household will have to stretch to support two.Expenses that your spouse previously paid may now be your responsibility. You might be in for a bumpy ride, but adjusting certain habits and maintaining a realistic outlook may prove beneficial.
- Will I be able to comfortably take on tasks that were my former spouse’s responsibilities? Taking on more household tasks and budgeting your time are part of your newfound single life. Chaperoning your children to school activities may now be up to you. You also may have to gain a better understanding of personal finance and investments. These represent learning opportunities.
It is natural to question whether you are making the right choice in pursuing a divorce. If you know that it is time to make the decision, carefully consider the questions you have and reach out to others who can assist you in answering them. You are on your way.
